The Attraction of Yesterday

One of the attractions of nostalgia is that it appears to offer a way to escape the present and all of its difficulties. When times are tough, and life’s sea a bit stormy and uncertain, it’s tempting to travel back to a past that in comparison seems so rosy, so safe.

It’s easy to believe we were better off in the past and that we’ll never have it so good again.

If we believe, for example, that a previous relationship was better than our present situation, then we might be reluctant, at some level, to work on current relationship issues. Or, if we believe living in another area was preferable to the one we live in now, we may fail to socially connect and learn about the great activities that are available to us now.

Productive Ways to Look at Our History

A healthy way to reflect on our past is to harvest and store the good memories. None of us need leave positive feelings and life lessons on the table. If you’ve gone through a really difficult time, a difficult separation, for example, you might feel that the time you invested was completely wasted. But, if you make a list of all the positive things you experienced during those years, and focus on your learning and how you might now move forward in a wiser and better way, then you’re actually doing what, in psychological terms, is referred to as ‘reframing’ your past.

Even if you were involved with the wrong person, in the wrong job, or running in the wrong direction, you may be surprised to find that there are many good life lessons you were able to learn. 

It’s important to look back with the right, positive focus. So many people get stuck yearning for an old flame that stole their heart, a former job they loved, or an old home they once lived in. Looking back too often is like driving along the highway of life focusing only on the rear-view mirror. If you actually drove your car this way, you’d literally crash into the car in front of you, or meet with some other awful accident.

Focusing too much on the past means you’re just not navigating properly down the road of life. You’re driving with blinders on. Living like this is a good way to lose out on opportunities coming your way. It’s difficult to notice interesting people you might meet, or productive career or business opportunities, if you’ve tuned out the present in favour of the past.

Ask yourself if you’re spending too much time gazing back at yesterday. If the answer is 'yes' then it’s time to do something about it. Only when we allow ourselves to be present in the here and now can we become our authentic self.

In a future post we will conclude our discussion on nostalgia. Be sure to check back on a regular basis.

Stay well and shine!

‘Never let yesterday use up too much of today.’ – Will Rogers